An ode to my virginity

[Onix]

Now that we're all friends, I guess I can share my little experiance with all of you.

An ode to my virginity.
A thing that lasted infinity,
It felt so good as I stuck my manhood into her hole that broke in two,
Her cunt was small and she screamed and bawled as it gripped and clawed,
My body in motion making love potion, the lotion to all life and devotion.
With speed unseen I cummed, it gleamed.
And that was the end to my beautiful friend
The divinity, and infinity, of my virginity.

[Ryan McBain]

I remember when I lost my virginity...it lasted about 30 seconds lol

[StaRgaZer]

I don't know....we all (hopefully) remember that moment, but as akward and short lived as it may have been... I think you could have described it with a little more tact....

[Onix]

I don't know....we all (hopefully) remember that moment, but as akward and short lived as it may have been... I think you could have described it with a little more tact....

I didnt mean to offend anyone with the words i used, i was 17 when i wrote this and i wrote it exactly as i had back then, it wasnt meant to offend it was meant to be real...sorry if it didi offend you.

[StaRgaZer]

It didn't offend me, I was just letting you know what I thought.....

[Image]

As if Stargazer has any room to give advice on tact. You all want to see her tact you should check out the reply she gave to me, after commenting on what a good job she did for her last poem. What is it, Stargazer? Gateway, right...? That was definetly some tact, in addition to the true color of BITCH! So - Keep on with your own style, Onix! Your poetry is unique and talent-filled! Whatever you do, don't ever appologize for the words you call poetry...especially to hypocritical and bitchy judges.

[Genesis]

whoa, that beef, set the battle up. Yo, imma keep it real, that poem wasn't ....well the best. something like virginity is useally conveyed with well more 'tach' not to take sides or anything, but it's just something people cherish and respect. and you really just kinda spit it out. I can see what you mean by being real wit it , cuz that was kick in the rawest and realest form, so I'm feeling ya on that, but i also understand what staRgzeR was saying. so imma give this one a B-.

[StaRgaZer]

So now people can only voice their opinions if it all sounds like bubble gum and smells like roses?.... last time I checked there was something called constructive critisism.... and honesty.... I don't have to like every poem I read.. and I don't have to only comment when I have something nice to say.... and I'd rather be a bitch than a slut...

[Genesis]

wow, that's not what I was saying at all. I was talking to onix in what i was trying to say, not you staRgaZer. I've read gateway and i told you i like it, just couldn't truely see all there was in side it.

[StaRgaZer]

What I said wasn't directed toward you Genesis... it was towards Daelynn.... sorry for the misunderstanding....

[Genesis]

oh, gravy

[Image]

And slut I suppose who feel I am... As if you had a clue of who or what I am all about. So now that we've both entered a more adult like discussion, I suppose the only thing left to do is act like one. Huh...? Slut. Well, lets face it, as they say, it takes one to know one. But, I wouldn't have a clue what it takes to be a slut, since I have never been one. So, I'll let you be the judge of that, seeing as though you know those characteristics best. And, lets not be fake... I know the way, in which, you have asked me the questions. They are taken with just as much directiveness as they have been given, to the degree you have intended me to receive them. Therefore, direct, bitchy, however you'd like to sum it up... I have reason to believe, especially now that you have continued on your rampage, you aren't as full of tact as you claim to be, nor do you have enough class to be associated with, at the level I require. Therefore, your solo act is nothing more than childish. For me to involve myself with someone of your stature would only bring me down to your level. And, as I said before, I haven't a clue of what it is like to be at your level. Judge away... Just make sure it is done where it should be... away.

[StaRgaZer]

I arrive to conclusions by deductive reasoning, logic, and observations.......

"Ya' ever gone outside in the rain...standing there barefoot as it pours out of the sky...with not much more than your panties on and your tongue hanging out of your mouth...just waiting for it and enjoying every drop you catch and taste...? I have...I love the taste of rain! (You remember - you were there!) =) yummy..."
I don't even need to say what this, as well as that entire thread, implies....
"That's my advice. Believe me, I have been in my current relationship for two and a half long played out years"........
I suppose if Ryan Mcbain is the other half of that played out relationship, then I am wrong in my conclusion.. I also can say that I am using personal opinion in reaching my conclusion because, if he is not, then you are a cheat.. and to me that is a slut......

[Onix]

DAMN!! I love it, see to me this is what writing of any form is suppose to do...get people talking, yelling, fighting. I love it. In defense of my poem or not so much in defense but in explanation to Genesis comment on the sanctity of viginism if you will, i agree that most people hold it sacred and all that, and i did too, unfortunately i wasnt able to lose my virginity to anyone special it was just a girl, there was no romance or love or anything. i would have wanted it to be that way but it didnt go down that way so it was just sex, hence my poem was about sex not the beautiful delicate moment of losing your virginity. but you all have fun with it, i feel more of an accomplishment in you guys having alot to say about it regardless of whether it was good or not...it got you talking and any writer knows thats a victory.

[Genesis]

Dude,in that lies the reason the poem is good.It was what it was. My personal belief influanced my first comment, but I have the right to change my mind, it was an A+ dog, you have mad talant and I hope you never stop writing.