January 15, 2002

[Infinite]

There it is, that vivid rememberence
That that brings with it a semblance
Of sadness and sorrow
Of pain and death and dread of the 'morrow
The sensational joy of happiness and love
Ripped from my chest in mid-pulse
To be felt nevermore, doomed to live as I have
As if nothing hath significance
Any and every accomplishment blase
Of my own choice I do not even try
For that which might temporarily replace my sadness
With a false sense of contentment
That which steals me from my blight but for moment
To lose its strength before it hath rescued me
To bring even that much more hurt
When I notice what I've missed
Then it sets in -- that bleak shadow
That which makes me leak tears
My eyes precipitate hopes and dreams
I cry alone and close myself off from the world
Despair runs through my veins
Soaking into my bones, making me shiver
Swallowed by darkness, which hath become my only friend
To whom I turn every night
It cannot dissappoint me
Because I expect nothing of it but a cushion
From life, loss, pain and suffering
It is my lifeline in an ironic way
It fills the hallow in my chest
And anyday I do my best, I feel some slip from me
I fear what I'd become when it goes
I fear being alone and exposed.