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Source:http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/fo..._the_side.html
Ben Roethlisberger and Tiger Woods.
By now, you're familiar with those two guys and how they got in trouble with their women and groupies. That's what you hear most of the time, how athletes and their side women are a recipe for disaster.
But here's the part you don't know. Most NFL guys have women and groupies. We just don't get caught, because we treat our extra women with a certain amount of compassion and humility.
Why? Because we have agendas in these relationships and so do the women. It's not that we don't love our wives or our families; we just like being with multiple women. Temptation, testosterone, confidence - I think all those things factor in.
In general, players want a great night, or a booty call, or just a chick on the side, and as long as we don't treat these women like second-rate citizens, it usually works out fine.
But it's a use-use situation where both parties understand that sex is the top priority. Women want something, too. The girls come from all over the place; we meet them at basketball games, bars, nightclubs, places like that. Most of them would love to stick around and be a girlfriend, but their night lives and their pasts - they've usually been with other athletes - keep us from doing that. So they settle for being one-night stands and booty calls.
But in the court of public opinion, they know they'll always have the upper hand. If the player is accused of rape, the player - whether guilty or innocent - has to deal with the repercussions.
That's why if a woman is "there" for a player late nights, and she keeps what's going on in the conversations and the relationship private, she should be rewarded. I'm not saying you take them to a steak dinner on a Saturday night, but little gifts here and there show appreciation. Think watches and dresses, maybe some cash.
Not to bring up old stuff, but this is one of the things that tripped up Tiger: His inability to give his women money or financial support in some small way. I don't think those women wanted a new car or their house paid off, but if you're having sex with a waitress, give her a grand every few weeks. Don't do that, and she'll say he's heartless and be much more inclined to divulge all the dirty details of their relationship. Especially because he told his girls he loved them.
That's not to say that there aren't other problems in these "relationships." Single players have it easier than married ones. The biggest issue single players run into is that they can't get possessive if their girl wants to be with other teammates, unless you notify the teammate privately that she's one of your "main chicks."
Even then, other issues crop up, because of the infamous double standard players have, that we can have multiple partners but the women cannot. It's supposed to be on the woman to decide if she's going to deal with one player or a few, and we've got to be fine with that, or else be labeled "Captain Save-a-Ho" in the locker room.
But where it's real tricky is for the married ballers, who need to have the mentality "I will get caught." With that in mind, you have to ask yourself, "Is my woman strong enough to stay with me in the aftermath?" Or "smart enough to look past it and not hold it against me?" Because if she's neither of those things, we're in trouble.
Outsiders may say "What about a pre-nup," but most of us get married young, when we convince ourselves that we are in love and cheating would never happen, before the money, the power, the respect and - most of all - the temptation comes along. So now, if something happens, we're in deep trouble.
But that's why our approach is so important. The bottom line is if things go wrong it's our fault. Maybe we shouldn't have done it in the first place.
Or maybe we should have taken care of our girls a bit better, because that accomplishes much more than being a jerk.
Ben Roethlisberger and Tiger Woods.
By now, you're familiar with those two guys and how they got in trouble with their women and groupies. That's what you hear most of the time, how athletes and their side women are a recipe for disaster.
But here's the part you don't know. Most NFL guys have women and groupies. We just don't get caught, because we treat our extra women with a certain amount of compassion and humility.
Why? Because we have agendas in these relationships and so do the women. It's not that we don't love our wives or our families; we just like being with multiple women. Temptation, testosterone, confidence - I think all those things factor in.
In general, players want a great night, or a booty call, or just a chick on the side, and as long as we don't treat these women like second-rate citizens, it usually works out fine.
But it's a use-use situation where both parties understand that sex is the top priority. Women want something, too. The girls come from all over the place; we meet them at basketball games, bars, nightclubs, places like that. Most of them would love to stick around and be a girlfriend, but their night lives and their pasts - they've usually been with other athletes - keep us from doing that. So they settle for being one-night stands and booty calls.
But in the court of public opinion, they know they'll always have the upper hand. If the player is accused of rape, the player - whether guilty or innocent - has to deal with the repercussions.
That's why if a woman is "there" for a player late nights, and she keeps what's going on in the conversations and the relationship private, she should be rewarded. I'm not saying you take them to a steak dinner on a Saturday night, but little gifts here and there show appreciation. Think watches and dresses, maybe some cash.
Not to bring up old stuff, but this is one of the things that tripped up Tiger: His inability to give his women money or financial support in some small way. I don't think those women wanted a new car or their house paid off, but if you're having sex with a waitress, give her a grand every few weeks. Don't do that, and she'll say he's heartless and be much more inclined to divulge all the dirty details of their relationship. Especially because he told his girls he loved them.
That's not to say that there aren't other problems in these "relationships." Single players have it easier than married ones. The biggest issue single players run into is that they can't get possessive if their girl wants to be with other teammates, unless you notify the teammate privately that she's one of your "main chicks."
Even then, other issues crop up, because of the infamous double standard players have, that we can have multiple partners but the women cannot. It's supposed to be on the woman to decide if she's going to deal with one player or a few, and we've got to be fine with that, or else be labeled "Captain Save-a-Ho" in the locker room.
But where it's real tricky is for the married ballers, who need to have the mentality "I will get caught." With that in mind, you have to ask yourself, "Is my woman strong enough to stay with me in the aftermath?" Or "smart enough to look past it and not hold it against me?" Because if she's neither of those things, we're in trouble.
Outsiders may say "What about a pre-nup," but most of us get married young, when we convince ourselves that we are in love and cheating would never happen, before the money, the power, the respect and - most of all - the temptation comes along. So now, if something happens, we're in deep trouble.
But that's why our approach is so important. The bottom line is if things go wrong it's our fault. Maybe we shouldn't have done it in the first place.
Or maybe we should have taken care of our girls a bit better, because that accomplishes much more than being a jerk.